Why am I feeling this way? My arms are numb... all the way from my hands to my shoulder blades.
Past events are creeping up on me every day and making my nervous system react like an alien in my body.
Its like hot water down my spine causing a sweat, my scalp feels hot, almost like pins and needles under my skin.
Work is distracting me but every so often something reminds me and the images are back. Followed by the alien.
These extreme feelings have been going on since before Christmas and Im wondering if i will have it for the rest of my life.
Its making me look at things differently, like NYE watching the fireworks over the Thames my vision was blurred with images that I do not want to see when im with friends seeing in the new year. Why do these images haunt me? Shopping over christmas in crowds of thousands and im just thinking Do I really matter? In the grand scheme of things, does anyone really matter?
Were here to live and to procreate. In the meantime we give ourselves jobs and tasks to keep ourselves busy until we die. We buy things, sell things and invest in property to make our lives a little more fun. We make ourselves important or unimportant. We put ourselves in dangerous situations like boarding a machine with wings and flying across vast oceans for breaks. We make rules and regulations that are kept or broken.
What is this all for?
Everyday I get up, get dressed, come to work and sit here for 8 hours a day working hard and for what? To go home, wash, eat, sleep and get up and do it all again.
I need to find my purpose.
I think you should deal with the numbness in your arms before trying to find the meaning of life. Some heat massage, perhaps?
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